The Worst Sex I Ever Had

Contributed by Sarah Fielding, Lavalife

We often hear stories of mind-meltingly good sex sessions, often involving other people.

But for every tale of deliciously erotic, fulfilling sex, there is a depressing, ego-shattering bedroom fiasco lurking in the wings.

It's not all G-spots and happy endings when it comes to sex. Sometimes there are misunderstandings. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes it's just one gigantic turn-off. Sometimes sex just plain sucks.

It's time to air your confessions on some of the worst sex ever. Let this be a lesson to us all.

Hurry Up

This guy was going down on me for the first time, and he wasn't doing a bad job. I was just settling in to enjoy myself, then after about two minutes he pops his head up and says "Is everything OK?" I say, "Yes, why?" And he says "My ex usually would've come by now." That's when I knew things weren't going to work out... --Lisa

An Extra Bonus

I'd been flirting with this girl all night and we eventually went back to her place. We were both a bit tipsy, and so started getting into things pretty hot and heavy. But when she slipped her jeans off, I saw that 'she' was in fact a 'he'. Very pretty, very convincing, but definitely a guy. And I was out of there. -- Brett

Come Again

We were making out on the sofa when all of a sudden, the guy comes -- on my leg. I didn't even have time to recover from the shock before he got up and said he had to leave! A few days went by and then he called saying how much fun he'd had and did I want to hook up again. Um... no! -- Clare

Size Matters

I'd been hot for this girl for ages and put in the hard yards with her -- expensive dinners and all. After one such night she came back to my place. One thing led to another and we started having sex. The next thing I heard was "Is it in yet?" What are you supposed to say to that? --Theo

Getting Serious

This is the worst thing that can happen after sex. I was with this girl who I thought understood things were just a bit of casual fun. So far, so good, but after we'd finished, she turns to me and starts asking all these really heavy questions, like "Where do you see this heading?" And she was serious. -- Damian

Yes Master

I met this kinda geeky guy at a club and we went back to his place. We started making out and after a while he disappeared into the bedroom. When he came back out he was wearing this leather mask and g-string. Then he said, "I want you to call me Master." I almost laughed in his face. -- Paula

Cry Baby

What is it with girls that cry after sex? This one girl was sobbing so hard I started to wonder if I had hurt her or something. I didn't know what to do or say. She seemed like a nice enough girl, but I felt so bad afterwards I couldn't face seeing her again! -- Blake

Say What?

I was seeing this guy semi-seriously for a few weeks. Once after we'd just had sex, he turns to me and says "I like having sex with you. But I've had better." Charming. -- Belinda