The Missionary Revival

Contributed by Kelly Jones, Lavalife

It may be considered passé but for many men and women, the missionary position -- in all its clitoris-stimulating and deep-penetrating glory -- just feels the best.

Despite its ho-hum rep, the missionary position doesn't have to lack passion or imagination. Doubt it? Read on...

Just the Facts

According to Wikipedia, the term missionary position didn't originate from Christian missionaries preaching that this sexual position was the only proper way to boink, as is commonly believed. Rather, the expression likely comes to us from the Polynesians, whose sexual experimentations (with both partners and techniques) far exceeded the straightforward hanky-panky routines of the married Protestant missionaries in their midst.

In 1953, Alfred Kinsey, in his famous (infamous?) Sexual Behavior in the Human Female report conducted in the U.S. concluded that 91 per cent of women engaged in the missionary position most of the time, while the remaining 9 per cent used this position exclusively. While sexual practices may have blossomed somewhat since then, it's fair to say (and an informal study of my own posse confirms it) that missionary continues to stand as the most commonly practiced way we do the bed boogie.

It's a Rap, a Bad Rap

So why exactly do we feel somewhat embarrassed by this? Why is missionary the vanilla ice cream of sexual positions? For some reason, missionary has a reputation as lacking creativity and imagination -- perhaps because it is the easiest of the positions to perform and reach climax with and therefore "easy" is somehow seen as "less sexy." Or maybe because some lame-ass female sex partners have given it a bad rep because they just lie there without contributing anything except an orifice. Some insecure women shy away from this position because they find it too dominating and smothering.

Extra! Extra!

But there are more benefits to indulging in missionary than most other positions. Not just because to many (including myself) it just feels damn good physically. Think about it. What other position gives you more skin-on-skin contact? More shared control of penetration depth and rhythm? More eye-to-eye intimacy? More free use of the woman's hands to stimulate and caress other body parts in the mix (anus, clitoris, buttocks, testicles, breasts)?

Start Your Engines

Guys and girls embarking on their first romp would do well to try missionary first. Ditto for lovers who are having a hard time orgasming or helping their partners cum. The reason, you ask? Not much balance or tricky technique is required so concentration and -- if necessary -- free hands can focus on reaching climax. The intimacy of the position, with full view of each other's expressive faces, allows for easy communication (in words or otherwise) about what is pleasurable and what feels just OK.

Think Outside the Box

Pillows are good for more than hiding porn magazines and fighting at sleepovers. Position one under the woman's hips for increased pressure on the clitoris and deeper penetration. Or lean a mirror against the wall and watch yourselves as you pump and grind each other into missionary oblivion. Sex shops sell a myriad of toys and props to incorporate into your missionary play: vibrators, dildos, blindfolds, bondage supplies, massage oils. You're only as limited as your imagination.

Variety Is the Spice of Your Sex Life

Anne Hooper, in her book XXX Sex Tonight, suggests a few missionary variations worth trying. In the Scissors position, the man lies on top of the woman with one leg between her legs and the other outside. Good for grinding her clitoris: "Your two pelvises act like a kind of fulcrum, rocking backward and forward on each other as he thrusts."

Another variation, recommended for men who take a long time to climax, is called the Grip, and it sees the man's legs outside of the woman's so that both her vagina and legs cause friction against his meat whistle as he thrusts in and out. Stimulate the G-spot and increase depth of penetration with the Legs Up variation, where he kneels between her legs (instead of lying, as in the traditional missionary) and she puts her feet on his chest or shoulders. Create one of your own variations based on what feels good to you.