Role Play Basics -- I'll Be the Teacher

Contributed by Elizabeth Bromstein, Lavalife

Sex life getting a little humdrum? Finding yourself fantasizing about other people while doing the hunka chunka with your regular partner?

Like that dreamy customs officer, your physics professor or the pizza delivery guy? Well, short of opening up the floor and inviting in other participants, you're pretty much stuck with the consort you've got. Why not try some role play? It's like acting. But with sex.

Role play is the act of taking on different personas in order to act out sexual fantasies. You get to pretend to be other people. Think you'll feel silly? Of course you will. But you'll get over it. And feeling silly can be fun, too. But where to begin?

The fabulous Cory Silverberg -- a sex educator and the owner of Toronto sex shop Come As You Are -- has written extensively about the subject at About.com. He discusses some practical tips such as brainstorming to get "those creative juices flowing," being prepared and picking a fantasy sexual role that "feels right... do some homework and pick a character that resonates with you," Silverberg writes. "It's hard to play a cliché that has no personal meaning, so find one that fits. It is fantasy and you can push your boundaries while finding a character that you connect with in some way."

He also gets into some serious acting class stuff, suggesting you "set the scenario... the more detail you can add to the fantasy the more alive it becomes" and asking "What's your motivation?" Well...um...to have sex? Yes, but "consider the psychology of your role. Analyze your character...What turns your character on, what turns them off, what pushes their buttons or drives them wild? Are you dominant? Submissive? Do you switch back and forth?" Obviously this is a much more involved process than we imagined. It's the Stanislavski method. But with sex.

Finally, and most importantly, Silverberg talks about setting boundaries. This is essential, he says. "Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy, like no laughing at someone, and no judging each other in the moment. Other rules will take some thought and good communication."

Other pragmatic things to think about include shopping beforehand. There are props and outfits to consider and you'll probably have to raid your local sex and costume shops. This is the fun part...well, maybe not the fun part, but it's fun. If you feel comfortable take your friends along and you'll probably laugh until you pee. Then I think you might want to consider music. Music can help set the tone and enhance an experience.

Deciding what role resonates with you is an entirely personal process but there are some standards that seem to work for a lot of people. Disclaimer: It's probably best not to spend too much time analyzing the potential psychological basis behind some of these. As long as we're all consenting adults...

Teacher and Student

This one is a staple. If the private-school-for-girls uniform had never been invented, there would be a gaping hole in the adult industry. Costume would be the standard issue plaid skirt, white shirt and maybe a tie and some knee socks. That's for girls of course (usually). The male student can get away with a baseball cap and a backpack.

Sample Scenario: Staying After Class

Sample Dialog:

Student: Teacher, I can't believe I failed the test! I really need to pass this course. Isn't there anything I can do?

Teacher: Well... there may be something you could do for extra credit... hand me that laser pointer and lock the classroom door.

Music suggestion: Van Halen, Hot for Teacher

Nurse and Patient

The nurse as caregiver stepping outside the job description is probably what makes this so popular. The nurse is usually the woman. Costume is obvious.

Sample Scenario: In the hospital. Patient is lying in bed.

Sample Dialog:

Nurse: Oh my goodness! What happened to you?!

Patient: It was silly really. I was just saving a family from a burning house, you know, your basic good Samaritan hero stuff. I got them all out but then I went back in for the puppy...

Nurse: You poor, poor thing. Let's get you ready for your sponge bath.

Music suggestion: Fever, The Cramps version

Cops and Criminals

Cops are authority figures who carry guns and guns are symbolic of penises. The woman cop is hot because, you know, she's got a gun.

Sample Scenario: Robbing a Bank

You got caught robbing a bank/doling out some vigilante justice/shoplifting/catburgling and now you've been taken into a private room for interrogation.

Sample Dialog:

Cop: Well, well. You thought you could get away with it but I guess you're in a bit of a pickle now aren't you? You're going away for a long time!

Criminal: I've got something bigger than a pickle right here.

Cop: Maybe we can work something out.

Music suggestion: AC/DC, Night Prowler

Gangster Moll and Mobster

It's sexy because it's dangerous. He's a big man in control of all the organized crime in town. She's in awe of him and kind of afraid at the same time. Girl costume might look like Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface: lots of make-up and a slinky metallic dress. Male costume might consist of an expensive suit and hat of some kind. Flipside: The gangster is a hot chick like Lucy Liu in Lucky Number Slevin and the moll is a guy who wants to work his way up the mob ladder.

Sample Scenario: Strip Club

The backroom of the gangster's strip club, which he/she owns because he/she is a gangster.

Sample Dialog:

Gangster: I've had a hahd day! Bubbles screwed up that shipping job and I think he's tawking to the cops. I might have to rub him out, as I do to anyone who crosses me.

Moll: Oh bayby. Let me poah you a drink and give you a massawge. Theah, does that feel bettah?

Mobster: Yeah, but it'd feel even bettah if you were naked.

Music suggestion: Alabama 3, Woke Up This Morning

Hooker and Client

For reasons beyond my comprehension, paying for sex is still considered taboo, risqué, and dirty. So, it's titillating. The "hooker" gets to feel dirty for being a hooker and "the client" gets to feel dirty for hiring the "hooker." And feeling dirty means good sex. Remember, no kissing on the mouth.

Sample Scenario: Hotel Room

Sample Dialog:

Hooker: So, what can I do for you?

Client: I've never done this before...

Hooker: That's OK sweetie. Just tell me what you want me to do.

Client: Well, I've always had this fantasy about a sexy school girl...

Hooker: That'll be a hundred bucks extra. Just let me get my costume...Teacher! I can't believe I failed the test! I really need to pass this course. Isn't there anything I can do?

Music suggestion: Prince, Darling Nikki

Use your imagination. What character do you dream of being/doing? Scenes can be as complex and involved as you like. Hell, you can even write scripts and make scenery! As long as you stay safe and respectful of one another anything should go.

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