Probing the Sex Inspector

Contributed by Lisa Daily, Lavalife

Michael Alvear watches complete strangers having sex in their bedrooms every week. Neighborhood pervert?

No, it's his job as co-host of the UK's most provocative hit reality series, Sex Inspectors, now airing Thursdays on HBO.

Bizarre, yes, but the show is also ridiculously watchable. The Sex Inspectors use infrared cameras in the bedroom to film ordinary couples having sex. Then Alvear and co-host Tracey Cox analyze the nookie tapes and work with each couple individually and together to sort through the problems that are wrecking the relationship. What's surprising about the show (even more than the night goggle-vision end-of-the-bed scenes) is that it really delves into the emotional issues that can tear a couple apart or cement them together.

Heat Magazine said, "Once you get over the initial jaw-dropping weirdness of it all, you might find that you actually learn something."

Time Out noted, "In terms of television history, it's progress. While America's Sex and the City broke verbal taboos, its actors simulated sex. But this is the first time 'ordinary' couples have done it on camera for a sex advice show -- and, as usual, they're doing it first in Britain."

And the London Times remarked, "The programme is admirably direct without being repellent. If only all makeover programmes were so worthwhile." Alvear is also the author of several books including Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon and Sex Inspectors Masterclass (more at www.MichaelAlvear.com). Lavalife spoke with Michael Alvear about the show, his role in it and much more.

Lisa Daily: Most men think about sex 257 times a day. How do you actually make a career out of it? I don't remember that table at my campus career day.

Michael Alvear: You weren't looking very hard. It was right next to the "If you can't find a real job" table. I owe my job to Dan Savage, actually. He wouldn't sell his columns to gay newspapers (even though he's gay). So my editor asked me if I'd like to write a sex advice column. I said, "Yes, send me your cutest employees and I'll get started."

LD: What was the most surprising thing you learned while doing Sex Inspectors?

MA: Two things: that one of the greatest problems women face in the bedroom is the mirror. Almost every woman I worked with had some level of body shame that got in the way with of desire, frequency, and enjoyment of sex. Second, that telling people what not to do was often more effective than telling them what to do.

LD: What's the biggest difference between men and women when it comes to sex?

MA: Women can fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships.

LD: Were you ever embarrassed to watch complete strangers in the act via infrared camera, like on the first day?

MA: Not really. The most awkward part was actually meeting them after watching their tapes. I remember once sitting in a couple's couch when it occurred to me that I was sitting in the exact spot where they were bumping uglies the week before and I almost jumped up!

LD: Did it surprise you that people would volunteer to be taped in their most intimate moments?

MA: Yes and no. The cameras don't move or make a sound so they become like wallpaper. Still, many couples had to be persuaded. They weren't doing it for the money because they weren't getting paid. They did it because their sex life was killing their relationship and they saw the show as a way of getting help.

LD: What was your most excruciatingly embarrassing sex experience?

MA: My most embarrassing stories have more to do with "near-sex experiences".

Like the time I was on a date with someone who made me paw the ground with sexual anticipation. After being flirted with the entire evening, I asked if I could come up and the answer was, "I'd really like that but I have a lot of laundry to do."

LD: Do people expect you to be better in bed because you're an "expert"?

MA: It's unspoken, but yes.

LD: Are you?

MA: It's unspoken, but yes.

LD: What are you working on now?

MA: Speaking. Professionally, however, I'm still writing the gay advice column and I've added my first heterosexual sex advice column for a British Women's magazine (interestingly, apart from plumbing issues, the questions are almost identical). I'm also working on a book titled, Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat. It shows women how to overcome their negative body image to have amazing sex.