Sex Toys -- The New Tupperware

Contributed by Lisa Daily, Lavalife

College girls, grandmothers, career-types and housewives are talking about sex, checking out bedroom toys and sampling personal lubricants in a living room near you.

While most women would rather give up sex altogether before they'd ever set foot in the sleazy neighborhood porn shop, they're snapping up bedroom toys to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars at home parties -- the modern girl's take on Tupperware parties.

Sex and romance-themed home parties like Pure Romance (www.pureromance.com) are among the fastest-growing businesses in both the U.S. and Canada. According to their Web site, "In a little over a decade, Pure Romance has grown into a multi-million dollar company, bringing in $43 million in retail sales during 2004 alone." Yowza. And while the parties are women-only, most companies offer plenty of goodies for men and couples as well.

These parties appeal to women of all ages -- the customer is just as likely to be a 24-year-old single girl as a 75-year-old married woman. The bedroom toys and aids are definitely chick-friendly: unlike the utilitarian cucumber-esque bedroom accessories of the past (available in black, brown, and well, beige) modern toys are designed with women in mind. They're pretty, multi-tasking, have cute names (such as BOB, the Battery Operated Boyfriend) and are available in a wide assortment of colors. Like leopard, or pink. That's right ladies, you can now purchase a vibrator to match your pajamas. Or your sunroom.

Patty Brisben, the sweet-smiling grandmother and founder of Pure Romance sees this trend as an empowerment tool for women. In other words, if we girls can take care of our own needs during leaner times maybe we won't be so anxious to rush into a relationship with the wrong guy. I wonder if the same is true for men? Can sex toys really help you save yourself for true love?

Dr. Stephanie Buehler, a psychologist and certified sex therapist in Irvine, CA says, "A good vibrator is better than a bad bloke, anytime. A vibrator will be there for you whenever you need it. It doesn't make any demands. It provides pleasure on demand. On that basis alone, only a caring, dependable partner can replace a vibrator.

"A vibrator won't give you herpes," Buehler adds. "A vibrator won't balk if you ask it to put on a condom. A vibrator won't lie and say it got tested just two weeks ago and is clean. A vibrator won't cheat on you and tell you not to worry."

Generally speaking, most men don't need to be encouraged to take care of their own sexual needs when they are between partners, but for lots of women, this is a novel concept.

According to Buehler, "A vibrator is a great teacher. You can learn what kind of pleasure you like. Do you like stimulation that is fast, slow, alternating? Lots of pressure or just a tickle? Right here or right there? A vibrator won't tire out before you get it all figured out."

Home parties give women a chance to learn about their sexuality and bond with their girlfriends, all in a safe, fun environment. Parties include a bit of education, a lot of laughter and a few stories thrown in for good measure.

"Heighteners" are among the most popular products sold at parties. ("We are a nation of low libido," says Brisben), and a small bedroom accessory called "the bullet" is their biggest seller.

And now that she's conquered the rec room, Brisben is taking her message to the streets. Her charitable organization, the Patty Brisben Foundation, sponsors research in the area of women's sexuality, and Pure Romance sponsors "Sex Week" at Yale, a college tour to educate young people about their sexuality.

"We want women to feel empowered," says Brisben. "It's all about the experience."