Bedroom Boo-boos and Other Blunders

Contributed by Sarah Fielding, Lavalife

Ever wondered how you rate in the sexual technique stakes? No matter how adventurous and accomplished we think we are between the sheets, there's always room for improvement.

Here's a list of some of the most common sexual mistakes we all make in bed. Let's learn from our mistakes and banish these sexual slip-ups for good.

Mistakes He Makes

Big Mistake #1: Not Enough Touching

Fix it: Women love affection and intimacy, and giving lots to your partner (and all of the time, not just when you want sex) is the best way to get more sex. Kissing, massage, cuddling are all easy ways to increase intimacy -- and make your partner more receptive to your more carnal desires.

Big Mistake #2: Poor Personal Grooming

Fix it: Rough, unkempt facial hair consistently rates as one of the biggest turn-offs in bed. Hard stubble makes kissing and oral sex rather prickly. Likewise, long and/or dirty fingernails do not a sexy partner make, so invest in regular 'man-scaping' to make sure you're a hit with the ladies.

Big Mistake #3: Taking Things too Fast

Fix it: It's safer to err on the side off too much than too little when it comes to getting your lover warmed up. It's better for her (and for your ego) to be begging you to take her than for her to have to fake an orgasm which many women do when foreplay hasn't taken them to the edge.

Big Mistake #4: A 'Helping' Hand During Oral

Fix it: Alert: women don't like it when you shove their head down on your penis during oral. Guys, if you'd like to get more mouth action from your lover, cease and desist this practice at once. Other oral offenses include: thrusting, not warning the woman that you're about to climax, and not kissing her afterwards (It's OK for my mouth, but it's not OK for yours?)

Big Mistake #5: Zeroing in on the Obvious Bits

Fix it: The skin is the body's biggest sexual organ, yet one that is constantly overlooked by lovers who choose to focus on the obvious bits. Women like to be touched and caressed all over, and most women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax. Banish this bedroom blunder by exploring your lover from head to toe.

Big Mistake #6: Oops, Wrong Hole!

Fix it: Guys, women know that attempting anal sex is no accident. If you'd like to try this move, discuss it with your partner first. It requires a bit more... preparation than regular sex, so don't think that aiming wide of your usual mark will grant you backstage access.

Mistakes She Makes

Big Mistake #1: Being Overly Self-conscious

Fix it: Low self-esteem and poor body image are often at the core of this common bedroom dilemma, so fixing things can take time. Ladies, lower the lights and let your partner watch you undress; wearing sexy lingerie can help you 'act the part' too. Guys, reassure your lover by always telling her that she is beautiful and desirable.

Big Mistake #2: Lack of Initiative/Sense of Adventure

Fix it: Men often bemoan the fact that women rarely initiate sex and that most ladies are loath to try something new. This, for many women, is intrinsically linked to a lack of sexual confidence. Help coax out your lover's inner vixen by gently easing her into new empowering sexual experiences; your encouragement will help her become more dominant and experimental in the boudoir.

Big Mistake #3: Being Too Rough

Fix it: No lube during hand jobs, yanking at the penis, overly vigorous sucking and, God forbid, using your teeth during oral -- these actions all rate as big bedroom no-nos for women. Girls, guys love it when you take control, but next time instead of strangling his trouser snake, ask him how he likes the pressure, speed, suction, and /or friction of your action.

Big Mistake #4: Keeping Quiet During Sex

Fix it: Most men love to hear a woman enjoying herself in bed, sexy, breathless noises and all. They also like confidence-building feedback about what's working for you in bed so don't be shy when it comes to vocalizing your enjoyment of the experience.

Big Mistake #5: Acting like Semen is Poison

Fix it: Many women find the idea of swallowing semen less than appealing, but rather than shattering your partner's sexual confidence by acting like his man-seed is poison, come up with a way to deal with the cum, once it's, er, come. Discretely spit it into a tissue, or get your partner to cum elsewhere on your body instead.

Big Mistake #6: Faking It

Fix it: Faking an orgasm doesn't do anyone any favors; your guy still thinks he's God's gift, and you're left feeling desperately unsatisfied -- and resentful. Life's too short to be having bad sex and making out like you're enjoying it. If your partner's not pushing your buttons, for crying out loud tell him!