A Beginner's Guide to Spanking

Contributed by Sarah Fielding, Lavalife

We've all seen the movie Secretary, in which sweet yet troubled Maggie Gyllenhaal gets her kicks from being bent over the desk at work and spanked by her boss, played by the dark and brooding James Spader.

And if you haven't seen this film, add it to your must-see list under 'Unexpectedly Erotic.'

Spanking is a popular form of sexual play that includes everything from light paddling to full-blown bondage. Spanking in some form or other often forms a part of our everyday sexual practice -- or at the very least, our fantasy lives.

So if you're new to the delights of a firm hand on a bare bottom, read on. You can spank us... er, thank us, later.

Bottoms Up

Butt, bum, rump, derrière -- whatever you call it, the bottom is the prime target for person administering the spanks. An area of untold pleasure for those on the receiving end, the bum contains nerves that are buried under layers of muscle and fat. It is this muscle and fat that allows the butt cheeks to take all sorts of stimulation -- hard, soft, fast, with a crop, with a paddle, with the warm, firm palm of your lover's hand...

Why it Works

Spanking the buttocks causes blood to flow to the bottom; the delightful pink blush that freshly spanked skin takes on is a sign that the area is receiving fresh blood. The genitals, conveniently located in the same vicinity, are also benefiting from the increased blood flow. This arousal, combined with the prickly, stinging sensation of being slapped is for many, the ultimate in foreplay.

Role-playing

Lovers of the spank also enjoy the aspect of role-play that this bedroom behavior invites. Role-playing and spanking go hand in hand; you can indulge your favourite school girl/headmaster fantasy, or perhaps you're just a very a bad girl/boy who simply needs to be punished?

Props

For the guys: When spanking your lady's butt, position her across your lap, or lay her down with a cushion under her front to prop her butt up even higher. This gives you great access to her peachy cheeks, and your lady will love the added sensation of being able to rub and buck against your leg or cushion.

For the girls: Guys love visual stimulation as much as physical, so make sure you play the part when indulging in a little hanky spanky. Sexy lingerie, corsets (think leather rather than lace), high heels or lace-up boots all get you in to character, and let your partner know that you're the boss.