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contributed by Jan Gamm The length of time it takes to recover from a broken relationship is dependent on the age of the people involved. Older people take much longer to recover from an emotional upheaval. The younger set -- as usual -- have it much easier and are able to bounce back much quicker. However old you are, it is certainly not a pleasant experience and it does not help when people expound the old chestnut, 'Don´t worry, you´ll get over it soon enough, time heals everything,' making you want to scream and throw something. The last thing you want to hear when faced with an emotional bullet such as your lover leaving you, is how soon you are going to forget the whole thing; it somehow cheapens the experience, as if the entire episode has been a waste of time, sooner forgotten the better. However much you want to kill the messenger, the advice is sound enough -- time will undoubtedly lessen your regrets, but in the meantime there is today to get through. The first thing to make up your mind about is that you are going to survive this nasty experience and come through with flying colours. Next, actively plan your days, allowing plenty of time for little treats and doing stuff you enjoy doing alone - especially things that might have been neglected during the time you spent with whatsisname. Pay extra attention to your appearance, making sure you arrive at work looking fifty times better than usual, that way you will avoid all the sympathetic platitudes which are usually meaningless and completely insincere. Take time to go swimming or to the gym, go to the movies and spend plenty of time with the more cheerful of your girlfriends; avoid people who are likely to have worse problems than you, for the time being; the object of the exercise is to make yourself feel better, not dish out sympathy elsewhere. Be selfish. Live life the way you want to for a while and actively seek pleasurable pastimes. Above all, keep busy, entertained, focused and magnanimous about the failure of your relationship. And next time, be sure to find someone smarter, better looking and richer! About the Author: Jan Gamm writes reflections on life with an emphasis on world travel. She has lived in many countries and traveled extensively in the Far East, the Middle East, America, South America and throughout the South Pacific. She writes for fun and for money whenever she can manage it. |
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